Dear Italy,
I thought we were friends. Compadres. Homies. Amici. I thought we visited, had a few drinks, ate a few calzones, consumed a lot of gelato and called it a vacation. I say nice things about you, you say nice things about me, badda bing badda boom, finito.
Why then do I get a call from MasterCard saying you're trying to treat me like a porca puttana? Eh? Don't tell my I'm full of merde. I got the bank records right in front of me, you stronzo.
*June 23rd - UNIEURO - $906.23
*June 22nd - LIMONI PROFUMERIE - $301.27
*June 22nd - EURONICS - $697.69
So what... I get back to the states and start workin' my culo off just so you can go off and buy perfume, eurotrash home appliances, and electronics? You know what, mangia merde e morte.
P.S. Venice - you smell like shit. I didn't know whether to give you a tic-tac or a roll of toliet paper.
*For translation purposes (nsfw)
Monday, June 23, 2008
Italia, Che Cazzo!?!
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9 comments:
Ma vaffanculo! It's time to call up the mafia and have them suss this out!
"mangia merde e morte" just made me snort breakfast cereal! How hilarious is that in Italian?!!! It's going to be my new favourite phrase ;o)
Ouch! Totally not cool! Time to kick ass Godfather style!
I wish I could remember this awesome swearing phrase my Sicilian friend taught me (that basically meant suck my c**k) but I can't darn it.
That's some expensive pizza.
@ Hilly: No joke. I have this picture in my head of some 15 yr. olds in Rome buying Xboxs and shitty perfumes at my expense.
@ Penelope: Some things are great in any language.
@ Kevin: If only I could.
@ Sizz: Sicilians always know the best words for situations like this.
@ Eclectic: It so is.
Wow...guess Italy and I won't be bonding anytime soon.
I'd be spitting pheasants again if that were me.
Hilarious!
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